With this move I keep finding myself asking the same questions over and over again. Where on Earth did this come from? Why do we even have this? Do we really need to keep this? I’ve also found a lot of things I didn’t know we had or thought we had gotten rid of years ago.

That’s the problem with having too much stuff, you don’t know what you have. How can you appreciate the things you have if there is so much it’s impossible to keep track of everything?

As I’ve gotten older I realize I’m a minimalist at heart. Having a lot of stuff doesn’t make me happy, it makes me want to pull my hair out because I hate clutter. I would rather have a few quality items, things that make me happy or that mean something to me. I would rather be able to display a single piece of art that brings joy to my life than to have a gallery full of pieces just to say I have them.

I cleaned out my closet a few months ago and got rid of almost everything I owned. Even some things I loved—my favorite pair of jeans, that comfy t-shirt I’ve had since high school that was faded and had a few small holes—because none of them fit and while I’m still losing weight and hope to continue to do so holding on to things that I might fit into some day is silly. If I get back to the weight I want to be then I’ll buy new clothes. I figure if I’ve been able to loose that much weight then I deserve a few new things.

I used to buy shoes all the time. I love shoes and have since I was a teenager. I was one of those girls who wore a different pair almost every day. A few months ago I donated over fifty pairs of shoes. I have fifteen pairs now. That’s tennis shoes, boots, sandals, and two pair of dress shoes. And honestly I could probably get rid of a few more since these days I usually wear the same four or five pairs most days. I never really wear the dress shoes but I know as soon as I get rid of them I’ll need them for something and I hate shopping so I’ll keep the ones I have since I know they’re somewhat comfortable. The only reason I kept two pair is because one is black and one is brown. I figure that covers all my bases.

The other thing I’ve started to realize… comfort trumps everything else with me. If it’s not comfortable then I don’t care how cute it is or how great it might look on me. Life is too short to be uncomfortable. Now I’m not saying wear yoga pants and baggy t-shirts all the time. Although there is nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy then I say go for it, I wear my fair share of yoga pants and baggy shirts after all. But why is it that women are taught that beauty is pain? Wearing shoes that have my feet aching after an hour isn’t worth it to me, no matter how cute they are. It’d rather wear my Crocs. They might not be the height of fashion but they’re comfortable. I mostly use mine as my around the house shoes because they’re easy to slip on and off, but I’ve also worn them out and about.

I’ve realized I want a house, a life, where I can account for everything in it and be able to really appreciate the things I have. That’s what it all boils down to for me… Appreciating what we have and not taking things for granted. I’ve taken too many things for granted over the years and it’s only now, looking back, that I realize it and it makes me sad.