This year I’ve been making a serious effort to focus on the positive things and to change the voice in my head that likes to point out all of the things I’m doing wrong and how I will never succeed at anything. It’s a voice we all have, but for some of us it’s more critical than for others. I remember a time when it was easy to ignore that voice. But somewhere along the way, I started listening to it more and more. I’m not sure when it happened. I only know that it did. But the problem is, once you start listening to that voice it makes it easier to listen to it again. And it gets louder. Where it had once only popped up on rare occasions it starts to pop up more often.

Then, before you know it, that voice has an opinion about everything.

Once it has become a constant companion it’s harder to ignore, harder to silence. I’ve gotten better at ignoring it, but there are times when it creeps up and still find myself listening to it whisper words of doubt. The last week I’ve been struggling with that voice. As I get closer to finishing my current work in progress, it gets louder—telling me that no one will want to read it, that it’s horrible, that publishing is going to be a waste of time. This happens with every book and in the past I’ve actually set books aside without finishing them because I’ve listened.

I guess that’s why I’m writing this post. Because I’m determined not to listen to that voice this time. While it’s telling me all of those things, I know that it’s wrong. While I know it’s not going to be an overnight bestseller that doesn’t mean people won’t want to read it once it’s published. It’s not perfect and it never will be. But edits will make it better and by the time I hit publish it will be the best story I am capable of writing at this point in my life. And hopefully the next one will be a little better than this one, because I will have that much more experience. As Hemingway said, “We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”

We learn with each book we write. And if we’re lucky we improve with each one as well.

It’s not only the writing, but the rest of my life as well, that’s effected by that voice though. While for me it started mostly with my writing, it seeps into every aspect of your life. It’s becomes this monster that needs to be slayed.

So I’m donning my armor, grabbing my pen—since as you know, it’s mightier than the sword—, and I’m heading into battle. Because I refuse to let that negative voice win.